Originally Posted by ray
@RP - I'm curious to know more about having a non-sexual boyfriend. Without sounding silly, how does that work? I'd like to know more about relationships of that kind. It sounds like something I might be interested in doing some day if the situation were right.
I decided to not have a sexual relationship with him after a long slew of casual relationships that were brief and included sex or at least a lot of sexual innuendos and over sexualized discussion and flirting. I was sick of it. I felt cheap, dirty, used and that I was worthless in any other way than sexually. I didn't believe for one second that a man would want me for any other reason than to fuck me. I thought I would lose him because I was not available to have sex with. It turned out that he stuck around for three years now.
Mono was struggling with me creating a sexual relationship with him so it was convenient to say no. At the time I used Mono's fear and monogamous nature as a stepping stone to the non-sexual relationship we have now. I was addicted to the attitude/lifestyle/persona (whatever one wants to call it) and Mono helped pull me back from that kicking and screaming. I am much happier now for it. It wasn't working for me the way it was set up. I wasn't empowered as some women seem to be from being a "slut." I just felt like a "slut" in the bad sense.
I would be ready to move on from non-sexual now. We shall see where that goes if anywhere.... its complicated.