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Old 11-16-2011, 09:55 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
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Originally Posted by Amitrye View Post
Sorry. I probably should have clarified something. When I said she'd slept with my partners in the past- I meant my girlfriends.

Yep, no difference. Sleeping with someone else's partner is scummy no matter what, and as Minxxa said, once could be an unfortunate mistake but over and over... what the hell? That's either intentionally fucking up your life, or just a pathological lack of self-control.

I know she feels awful.

No, you don't, because none of us are mind readers. You may know that she's *saying* she feels awful. But look at her actions and think of it this way. Either she means it, but is too sick to stop hurting you like this, or she doesn't mean it but refuses to let you go from her life. Either way, what sort of friendship is that? You can care for someone but still not be willing to have them in your life if they're no good for you... that's just self-care 101.

I feel as though I owe her.

And I'm sure you've paid her back many times over. But your childhood was a long time ago, and the best thing you can do for her right now might just be to help her see that her actions have consequences.

As far as counseling goes, my mother recommended that my husband and I go already. I know that shouldn't upset me but it does. I feel like it means she's not on my side when I know that's not true.

Yep. We're on your side and we're saying the same thing. Your mom is just trying to help.

My mother says she's been taking advantage of me for years... but I don't see it.
Honestly it seems pretty clear. I don't know what else might be going on that your mom is seeing, but who *continuously* poaches their friend's lovers, when they're clearly capable of finding their own? I mean, who does that?
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.

Last edited by AnnabelMore; 11-16-2011 at 09:57 PM.
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