Your view of your friend reminds me of a child who has been chronically abused by a parent and fights to get back to the parent after being removed from the situation. It is what the child knows, even if they have comprehension that their parent has done bad things to them, they still feel loyal. Please don't think I am calling you a child, am just using an example that I have seen and it just happens to have been a child.
No matter that your friend was there for you back in the day, she has been more than making up for it over the years, in a really sick way. You deserve better than that.
Didn't mean to ignore your sexuality, wasn't aware of it....the intent and action on her part is the same, the orientation has zilch to do with it. Have you ever thought about why she targets your love interests? I guess it may be beside the point but it certainly is bizarre.
If and when you speak with Hubby, it might be a good idea to find out how long she has been dropping hints and trying to engage him. I'm not alluding that it is all her fault. I just wonder if she has been biding her time and latched on to him when he was most vulnerable. She reminds me of that movie, Single White Female. It is spooky how she goes after what she perceives to be yours. Please be very careful.