Fucking hell! I've spent much longer than that in the hospital with people who were just friends. If you can't count on your spouse to drop everything and be by your side at such a time, who can you count on? What an ass.
And if your "friend" has been through this pattern before and saw it coming with your hubs AND knew you'd done poly before... why didn't it occur to her to say something to you, maybe ask your permission?? Or at least avoid the situation until you were well.
I'd dump 'em both too with this context. I'm sorry, hun.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.