Wow, these forums are full of very useful and relevant information. Let me start out with a little bit of basic info about myself:
I am 28, a mother, a wife, and as we recently discovered prefer polyamory. My husband and I have been married since I was 19 and I adore him, he is truly my better more logical and patient half. We began to explore more of the 'swinging' lifestyle about 4 years ago and just recently began to explore actually dating other partners and developing relationships in the past couple of months. I have always been a more emotional person than my husband but he is actually the one who found an amazing woman who I also think is a great match for him and he laid it all on the table for her. I have a group of friends that are mostly single who I play sports with/socialize with who do not know anything of my personal life and that has always been fine until recently when this man and I began spending a little bit more time together and he asked me out on a date.
After consulting with my husband I accepted and it has got to be one of the best dates I have ever been on even though we weren't doing anything special per se. That being said, we have had two subsequent dates and I really do like this guy but I am become more confident that he is looking for monogamy and a future that I know I can't give him. My husband says that perhaps I tell him or break it off or perhaps I let it run its natural course and he never needs to know but either way I know that I will hurt. I know that I am willing to endure the hurt but I don't want to cause the guy I just began dating more pain than necessary.
What to do, what to do? I really love spending time with him, and he is a very different man from the man I married. This does not make me love my husband any less but actually helps to make me even happier, much like his relationship. Any advice? I wish that this had started differently... I just know from his personality that poly is not his cup of tea and that will be a game-ender, do I end it now or wait and see? Do I see if it runs its course and if it is ongoing in a month or two bring it up? Do I just end it with a different explanation now? When did things get so confusing!?
The other thing I wanted to mention and ask advice on is this- Poly women, how did you meet men who were more comfortable with this lifestyle choice? I dont want to walk around wearing a sign and most of the guys who are seeking a poly relationship that I have seen are kind of creepy (no offense).