Thanks so far!!!
You all have no idea how much I appreciate the candid responses.
The transition from cheating to poly may not be as difficult as it normally would seem as we've built a bit of a foundation already.
There is a thrill of the secret factor here for her that I very much understand and plan on incorporating as much as possible in our future "ground rules"!
I dont need to know everything, just what we decide is important to share (std protection, time management and primary priorities, etc).
Thats all going to work out with time and talking. Yes, two wrongs dont make a right, but maybe the silver lining is to be able to look at each others issues from similar, not identical, perspectives.
I dont know anything for sure, but Im optimistic and grateful for the replies (and this forum in general)!!!!!