There is a lot on these boards about situations similar to yours. It's a tough one. I won't pretend to have valuable input as I've been alive only a few years longer than you've been married - lol - but I think that you can find support here. And LR is right; have your husband read these threads and participate if he wants to. The "anonymity" factor of teh vB board can help even the tightest gripped folks let things out.
Okay I was wrong, I will throw in some input. I doubt it's new to you, but to reiterate what gets posted here 3,000 times a day and that we all already know - honesty and communication are what makes relationships work and fail (from lack thereof). It takes a LOT of work and a huge mental adjustment for most of us in todays society, but it's worth it.