In every relationship I've ever had - be it friends, girlfriends, business partners, whatever - it has been understood very quickly what my policy is regarding ultimatums. It is very simple: They who issue the ultimatum, loses it. You hand me a "her or me" ultimatum, and it's her, no agonizing, no bullshit, you made the decidio for me the moment you issued the ultimatum.
I never issue them and I never will. I learned that lesson early in life.
NighDragon - I wish we could have not missed each other's texts last night. I am glad to hear you are taking steps and getting help, and that you have a support network in place. I also think that rash decisions made while everyone i hurting are seldom made correctly. Between myself and my friends, I was going to find you aplace and access to a vehicle so you would have a few days or weeks to think things through and so could she, before making a cross-country decision. I wish we could have discussed that option. I just met you, but I dig ya' man, something about you I just like, lol. We've talked twice and I think of you like I do my dearest friends - and man, we look out for each other big time. I hop all works out, PLEASE stay in touch, and know that you are one of the coolest people I know.