My wife and my husband (at different times) tried dating together and dating apart. Both times dating together the love of our partner and us became unbalanced and I ended up dating them.
First time was when I was married to my wife and met my now husband. The second time was my husband and I dating another man and he fell in love with me, and I with him. It turned out he was cheating and lied to us that he was. He said she was above board. She found out and all hell broke loose. He blocked contact with us and hasn't talked to us since. She has though... she contacted me asking if I was ready for a threesome with her and him! I told her I am not interested in casual sex any more and that I still loved him and that if that was not to be part of it I was not interested... she never wrote back.
My husband and I dated a friend for awhile, that was fun, but casual intimate friend kind of fun. I love him, but he moved on.
I got my heart broken in these circumstances and it still stings. All in all, dating separately and staying open to anything that arises that creates more love in our lives is what has worked best for us.
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