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Old 11-14-2011, 05:33 AM
alwaysme alwaysme is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 4
Default Kinda scared about pursuing poly

I know I just asked a question and have not posted anywhere else, but I really cannot give any advice to anyone at this point.

So I am single and have gone on a couple dates with a guy who is poly, he already has a fiance and a girlfriend. It seems like a pretty healthy relationship, he has told me a lot about them and apparently told them all about me lol. He also knows that I have not done this type of relationship before and that I am, long term, looking for someone to have a serious relationship with. He also clearly explained how much of his time he would be able to give me (which would not make him that serious relationship I am looking for) and made it very clear that if I am uncomfortable we could still be friends because we seem to have a lot in common and like hanging out together.

Sounds like a perfect introduction to all this, test the waters with a nice fun guy before jumping into a super serious poly relationship where I could either really get hurt or hurt other people when I don't even know for sure if this is for me. I had been starting to kind of go in this direction with my last relationship before it fell apart for other reasons, so it is not totally out of the blue just because I like this guy.

The idea is I keep dating like I have been looking for that 'serious' guy for me, but have him around on a somewhat regular basis...it kinda sounded like I might make some new friends with the other girls as well. The whole situation just seems to have my name written all over it for the type of person I am and what I need in my life right now. But this is still new to me and I am scared I am going to somehow get hurt, not what I need right now. I am honestly equally worried that I am not polyamorous and I will get jealous, as I am that I am polyamorous and won't be able to go back to 'normal' dating after this.

Can someone just tell me its going to be fine and I am over reacting? At this point I am just dating so it is no different than when I am dating more than one person at a time.
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