I don't think there's anything silly or archaic about looking for a woman rather than a man, if that's what you want. These people all sound super fake. :/ I wish I had some good advice, but I don't really. Maybe pull back on the dating thing and focus instead on making new friends, maybe join some new activity groups, and see if you meet cooler people.
The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.