Mono-I agree. Maca and I talked aboutit last night. To me it's about owning your own issues.
If I say "I'm poly". You (general interested party) have a choice to make-do you want a poly person or no?
If I say "I'm poly so deal with it because you SAID you love me and if you REALLY DO then you have to deal with it." I'm acting like a child AND I'm full of shit. You CAN love someone and choose not to BE with them. I do and always will love a number of my exes. But loving them did NOTmake us compatible for any number of reasons.
That's why "coming out" to Maca was so hard. I finally had a way of expressing my inside self (did try over the years but failed over and over) and I KNEW that it was going to mean he had a choice to make-stay or go AND that I must RESPECT his choice and support it caringly-EVEN IF IT HURT ME.
If he left (leaves) it will break me in ways he has no way of understanding-because I can't find words to express them. But I love him-I don't want to hurt or destroy him and if leaving is what it takes for him to be whole-then I would have no moral choice but to support that decision.
Turn it around-if I am Mono and can't deal with someone who is poly-I have a choice stay or go. It's wrong of me to put MY issue on their shoulders and tell them to choose. I am the one with the issue about who they are. I need to take the bull by the horns and decide to go-RESPECTFULLY and with care and love in my actions.
Ok-off soapbox cause I could go forever and I HAVE to run on the treadmill today!
"Love As Thou Wilt"