Having grown up in the evangelical christian church, I remember there being some interesting definitions of sex and virginity. Different people had different ideas. Some people were very orthodox saying anything "more" than french kissing was essentially sex in the sense that it made you impure. Some felt that kissing and everything else should take place only after marriage. Then there were others who said that as long as you didn't do penis in vagina sex, the rest was okay and you were still a virgin. So, according to them, anal, oral and everything else wasn't sex.
Obviously, people should define sex as they see it and want it to happen. For me, spanking is sex. Of course, I know that not everyone is going to feel the same. Ultimately, we all have to decide, for us, what is sex? And I'm sure being partnered it really helps to know each other's definitions and have some common ground in what it is you see as being sex.
is the issue with the boy that he is not yet ready to parttake in certain acts? I'm unclear as to what the actual issue is.