Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG
Ultimatums cannot work in these cases because they only have the potential to change how someone acts, not how they feel. Who wants to be with someone who is acting?? What it comes down to is the people offering the ultimatum simply need to make the hard decision for themselves. If you don't want to be there...get the fuck out.
I get it now...it is unfair to force someone to choose between two loves. It is ok to ask and present your reasons though. If the choice is not what you can be healthy in...leave; be an adult and simply fucking leave and find some one who wants to love the same way you do.
Each person has the right to change everything. If someone says it's done...it's done....no begging, whining or pleas to keep working at it. If some one needs something that precipitates that, then live with it...make your choices and accept the consequences...that's what grown ups do for fuck's sake.….and don't even pretend that you can have everything…get you head out of the clouds and be real.
If you are going to put an ultimatum out there be prepared to follow through. Don't tell me I'm going to bed without supper and then let me have something to eat because whatever I did, I'll fucking do it again because you don't follow through.
Don't know why this concept is so difficult? It's so OBVIOUSLY not going to get a good outcome when an adult chooses to act like a spoiled child.