No one is leaving in a huff. No one is living in a fantasy bubble. No one is too unintelligent to understand anything. And I have said previously, I will do the posting for us BOTH. WE are a unit, so no need for a second account. WE post together. If you want to address one of us or the other, go ahead, we will both see it and both will answer. Shouldn't be too hard to understand and not too annoying hopefully.
Thanks for all the input. I'll be reading lots of forums. Let me reiterate for clarity...again. WE are mature, grown adults in a loving, successful marriage, seeking another mature adult to marry and participate in a plural marriage, faithful to one another. IN THE PAST, we have participated in kinky sex with another couple, but no more, hence, more a friendly hanging out having fun kind of relationship. We love them, but we are looking for a spouse who will fill an empty spot in our lives that our couple cannot. No one is looking to oppress anyone, no one is looking to control anyone. Just as my husband took a vow to love honor and cherish me, and I to him, we want to make that vow to someone else. That will mean, they, and we will promise NOT TO CHEAT. Should we, as a marital unit, decide to participate in kinky sex with anyone, it will be done and decided on as a group, or not at all. I have never had a boyfriend on the side and no one will, no one has ever had a girfriend on the side and no one ever will. WE will have each other. Take it or leave it.
Maybe everyone is getting confused because you might think that each of us, at possibly different times, were seeing one or the other member of the couple, ie me with J and D with B, on the side, individually. No, that never happened. WE as a couple, a unit, got kinky with them together. Never individually. We are faithful to each other, I don't consider our kink socials to be an exclusivity negating act. I've said it before, to us, and to them, we and they are sex tools. LOL and we love them and they us, but they know and we know, we want more. We want a spouse. So sexy sessions with them will no longer be on the table....unless, the new spouse is ok with it and also participates. We have no desire to have sex with or be in a loving relationship with her ex or her other lovers no more than I want to have sex with or have a relationship with his exes or he with mine. Except for our mutual decision to have kinky sex with our friend/lovers, I chose to forsake all others when I married him, he did the same for me, she must do that for us and us for her, if not, then she is not the one for us. Plainly, simply.
I understand and can see why you all think we are being unrealistic and maybe a bit selfish, however, when one goes out to find the woman or man of their dreams, they don't settle for second best or settle for someone who is less than what they are looking for to spend the rest of their lives with. We will take it slowly. We will have to work on the marriage. We will have a new family member, and a new extended family with complicated family dynamics of their own. We understand fully. We are mature and we can handle whatever comes. We are not making a blind decision. We aren't making an uninformed decision. We aren't expecting some unrealistic, bunny rabbit and fluffy cloud, tip toe through the tulips either. We are going into this with our eyes wide open.
For anyone else reading this very interesting thread, I have some advice; Know what you want. Think it through. Try to be realisitc in your expectations. Don't expect everyone will understand. Make sure all parties involved know what you are thinking. Be clear and concise. Don't settle for less than exactly what you want. Good Luck, and Happy Hunting.