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Old 11-13-2011, 09:47 PM
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caichan caichan is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Indiana
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Default A different way of thinking about the scales...

To answer your question quickly, I tend to be more easily emotionally attracted than sexually attracted, especially with men- I label myself as lesbian, but that's just because the percentage of men to whom I'm sexually attracted is about 1%- I'm emotionally attracted to a larger variety of the population.

That said, I think about attraction scales in a very different way than you're picturing. This is in large part bc I've spent a lot of time hanging out with my sister, who is asexual, but I like to think of attraction scales as starting at a point in the center that is zero. Nope. Nothing. Then, in various directions, you can feel, say, that a particular person is a 9 on the sexual, an 8 on the emotional, a 5 on the intellectual, a 3 on the romantic, etc. I see a lot of varieties of types of attraction, as well. So you can have people like me- I'm romantically and emotionally attracted to both of the standard genders, sexually attracted primarily to women, and intellectual attraction varies by individual. You can have people like my sister, who has no sexual attraction, but has romantic and emotional attraction to both genders, and an extremely strong intellectual attraction to her current partner. You can have people like my lovely, who is highly sexually attracted to both genders and has a much harder time developing a secure emotional attraction, and seems rather confused most of the time by romantic attraction.

It's complicated, but it works for me.
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