Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
I think it's totally fair to ask your husband to really think about what he's getting into and to try to take it slow and be rational. That said, infatuation and hormones can make anyone act a little irrational. As long as he's still treating you well it's all good, but it count hurt to point him towards some resources on NRE or "new relationship energy". And there are some really helpful thoughts about working on jealousy at this site -- www.morethantwo.com
. Good luck!
With that, it's become obvious that we go at totally different paces in this regard, and his 'slow' is spending time getting to know the other person without any rash plans to go out on a date two weeks later. My 'slow' is going to be waaay slower because I'm not as open at first, and I have never considered having more than one long-term relationship at the same time until now.
He has always been considerate, for the most part, and he does make sure that I'm not neglected in the process. I have recently asked him to open up the lines between her and I, to keep me abreast a little more than he has. For example I would not have known exactly what those declarations meant or how they were intended had I not inquired. Apparently the goal was to be unsettling for others, except it wasn't only other people that became unsettled, but me too. So I definitely brought it up because I'm not interested in sitting on my feelings.
Thank you for the suggestion about pointing NRE out. After learning more about it I calmed down, realizing that it happens in every relationship at the beginning, mono or poly, and that we experienced it at first with each other too.