Originally Posted by vanille
My husband would like to introduce a girl. But I kind of think that dating independently might be the best way to go at first. I figure we will have a hard enough time trying to find one girl for both of us. Maybe we can date independently and perhaps someday that person can become a triad or quad?
For the record, I think your perspective on this is wise. Feelings develop at different rates and in different ways for different people, so trying to find one person who's into both of you will 1) be much harder, and 2) very probably lead to hurt feelings when the new woman is into one of you more at the start. Dating separately allows relationships to build more organically and authentically, to my way of thinking, and then it's just a matter of staying flexible and accepting that you might end up with a triad or quad or a vee or "n"... it'll be up to the people involved and the feelings that develop, which you just can't predict at this point.
Scarier than starting out with a set vision from which you won't deviate... but also more exciting and about a million times more real.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.