Originally Posted by nycindie
You can ask for anything you want in any kind of relationship.
"Ask for what you want. You might get it!"
That's one of my personal mottos above.
I find, for my own sanity, that I need to ask for what I want. But I also try to manage my expectations and reactions. I ask Oil Man to go to events or for dates frequently. Most of the time he is not available because of work. I know that and so don't expect him to accept. But I ask anyway because then I feel like I'm not just sitting around waiting for him to get around to me. (Oil Man certainly doesn't expect me to do this. That's my own stuff.)
And because I ask for what I want, but realize that the answer may be "no" or "not now", I also have little problem saying 'no' myself.