Just as anyone would go forth and seek out a life mate, that is what we intend to do. I never said he would call the shots. WE have decide to find another spouse. Does that mean that person has to give up their individuality? Of course not. Does that mean that we are gonna hover over that person and oppress them to do our bidding? Hell no. Are we gonna make her renounce her family and everyone in her current life? ABSURD. Does that mean that we will seek out the best fit to our current lives? Absolutely. When I met my husband, I didn't set out thinking that I would marry him and 'rule' him and take all his individuality away and make him forget or leave behind everything and everyone he knew. When he married me, he didn't set about trying to undo everything I had done in my life and have me do only his bidding or somehow control me. No real marriage filled with love does that. What we did do was ask each other to be faithful. And I am sorry, I don't believe our relationship with the other couple makes us unfaithful individually, it makes us kinky together.
This abuse, controlling and emotional oppression you speak of is NOT what we are about. As I have never had a wife, or a third person within my marriage, I do not know exactly what to expect, but I didn't have that absolution with my husband either and things have been fabulous. Hopefully, with the same dedication and affection any marriage is built on, one with a third party will also be just as rewarding.
I find it rather annoying that I registered at this site to put us in particular circles to maybe, just maybe, find a person that WE as a unit, could love, honor and cherish within our marriage, just as he and I do with each other. A lot of what I have gotten thus far is skepticism, condescending ridicule and the advice that maybe I should 'rethink' what it is I truly want and if it doesn't involve everyone having sex with everyone and anyone then it truly isn't a good thing.
I am not a religious fanatic and have no wish to add a second wife to my marriage based on the sexual whims of my husband. He has no wish to add a second wife to our marriage to be some domineering masculine tyrant over her. I think it is insulting to assume that is our 'ulterior motive'.
I introduced ourselves, made it perfectly clear and precise what it was we were looking for and thinking of and still the comments coming back to us are condescending, and indirectly insulting.
I am sorry if I have wasted anyone's time. I have made our case as honestly and completely as I believe I can. I don't wish to offend anyone, and if I have, forgive me.