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Old 11-12-2011, 11:05 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,285

I think RP has some good points, but I'll diverge a little. I think that bringing up the idea of a threesome is fine if you fulfill two conditions first.

1) Tell your boyfriend how you feel about her. It's not fair to blindside him with something he thinks is casual when it's more than that for you.
2) Tell *her* that you have feelings for her (doesn't need to be a big declaration of undying love, but at least an acknowledgement of emotions) and also that your boyfriend is not interested in an emotional relationship (assuming, when confronted with the fact that you are, he decides he's still not). She deserves to know what she's getting into from all angles.

Only then can everyone discuss the possibilities openly and honestly with a level playing field, and hopefully avoid the potential pitfalls. Also, if you really do love her, then, again, I think suggesting a threesome is fine... but you and she should have the option to explore your connection one on one without it being contingent on his involvement.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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