Husband agreed to open marriage now is being unfair
I have been with my husband 15 yrs and we have 4 children. He initiated a 3some with another male in 2008 and we did this with this male about 3 times. He has always told me he fantasizes about me with another man. This past August we were at a party with friends and went home with a male friend of ours. My husband and I started getting intimate and he left the room, sent the friend in and he left..... not just the room, the house, he literally left me there with the friend and he went home. I went home the next morning upset that he had left me there without discussing it. We made up and had amazing sex. I then started to think maybe his fantasy was really me having sex with another man and then telling him about it. So, a month later we did it again. And a month later we went out with the same man and another woman, my husband hooked up with the woman and I with the friend in separate rooms. Each time with us going home and later having amazing sex. So early November I approach my husband with the idea of an open marriage. He said he was for it but he requested that I not come home and try to have sex with him. Fair enough. This past Thursday I went out with the guy for the first time without my husband. Today, Saturday I try to be affectionate with my husband and he now tells me to respect his wishes and that he doesn't want to have sex with me for at least 5-6 days after me being with the other man. Like he's punishing me. My whole desire to see the other man is not sexual. He does not make me cum and I think it's because I am still not comfortable with him enough to just let go. My husband on the other hand pleases me every time. My enjoyment from being with the other man comes from a wierd desire to me be wanted and needed and appreciated. I know it sounds warped. So now I don't know what to do. Is my husband playing mind games? Why was ok with him when he had the control but now that I have the control I feel like he is trying to make me feel dirty. I am not happy, I don't feel good about this in fact I feel like crying. Not because he won't have sex with me but because I feel like he said "ok lets do this" and really didn't want to and is now upset with me. But again, me sleeping with another man was OK when he decided for me to but he needs 5-6 days before making love to me again when I chose to be with the other man. Is there something wrong with this or is it just me missing something?