I am really glad that we are able to discuss everything. I have gotten so much better voicing my needs and concerns.
I am still a bit shy about deep and positive feelings. I am kind of egoistical there … I don't want to share
And I still become self-conscious and bashful when they talk about their feelings for me. I don't know how to explain it, it feels 'too good' sometimes.
I know that the kid-topic is far away for now. We need to provide financial stability before we start to embark on this journey together. There is too much uncertainty concerning that point at the moment. But I have to admit that I love to think about it. I so want this to happen some day. Sweet dreams … we will see how much reality can be found in those fleeting ideas.
I would feel really troubled if someone wouldn't be able to voice concerns. I asked Sward and Lin some days ago, if they could see anything positive in me being with the respective other. Sward was quite clear: he thinks that the situation at hand is working out pretty good. That he thinks that having Lin with us is an improvement to our daily life. Lin said, that he wouldn't call Swards presence positive. He said that he just accepted that he belongs to me. And that he doesn't feel the need to think about something like “what if she would have been single ...”.
We are still adjusting to the situation and the other persons involved. But in my opinion we are doing reasonably well
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.