Finally saw the light
and ended the massacre that I tried to convince myself was a "poly" relationship.
Things just became WAY too complicated, and the last straw was when one of the other women (the one I was actually close to) accused me of trying to sabatoge the relationship.
I do think that there generally are people out there that truly understand that there is enough energy in the world for loving more than one and with the right amount of respect and communication, polyamory is a valid relationship type that can bring happiness.
Unfortunately, I think I got caught up in a poly fuckery relationship with permission (me being the dumb one). Once my character was challenged and I saw the cattiness of the other woman, it became clear to me that this was not a healthy relationship (as you guys tried to warn me) for any party involved... although I think the guy was getting some type of cheap thrill from the potential of being fought over (in fact, I think some of his comments were the catalyst for the cattiness).
What have I learned? Poly is about honesty with oneself and the people involved in the relationship. I missed the boat on both. I personally witnessed the guy telling women one thing to their face and totally saying or doing the opposite when they weren't around which shows his character flaws as well as my own personal ones for allowing this charade to continue for 6 months.
I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Yes, I am a little sad about losing two people and I am going through the subsequent loneliness that follows a "break up", but I know this is for the best. I'm just going to take care of me for a while and go back to focusing on my career...