Originally Posted by nycindie
You can ask for anything you want in any kind of relationship.
Very true. I am more wondering if it is a realistic expectation.
Several months ago I broke up with a guy who wanted me to be the primary partner in a poly relationship. While there were many other reasons we split ways one of my concerns what that I would lose that in the relationship. That if I was having a hard time he choose to spend time with a partner who was more enjoyable to be around. I am having a hard time differentiating in my mind if these feelings were based more on the poly direction the relationship was taking, or the fact that the relationship was falling apart for other reasons.
Currently I am in a position where I could be a 'secondary' partner (I assume that is still the correct term even if I would be the 4th person in the relationship). In the case I would not expect the same type of emotional support I want to eventually find. I was thinking that this could be a safe way, because I would not be as emotionally invested as I was in the previous relationship, to explore the whole idea of poly. I am just a little scared to deviate from what is familiar to me.