I'm actually still in transition! I think it's a long process because you have to deal with so many preconceptions and re-organize your brain a little bit...
You will find a variety of experiences on here and since I'm not in a marriage this might not be familiar to you but I think we all have more in common than meets the eye... We have to deal with a lot of similar challenges.
I always recognized in myself the potential to deeply love many people at once. That may be in all of us or it may only be in many of us... who knows if it's nature or nurture (I don't.) Because this was not accepted by society, I cursed my personality and stifled myself for a long time.
Even if I wasn't official with someone, it seemed that making another close friend that I felt loving feelings for was WRONG. But no body's perfect. I slipped, I made mistakes, and tortured myself for it.
But it never had to be that way.
Imagine being in an honest relationship where you can talk about anything, accepting
-that we can potentially have deep feelings for others
-that we are together but still independent
-that we can't put a guarantee or a warranty on anything but
-defend true love as a treasure and something that you don't just sweep away because of lust...
-that love can be displaced but never replaced
-it can't be quantified, only magnified and reflected...
-that you have nothing to worry about!!
Imagine how much more you love everyone in a relationship like that. Because nobody is wearing a mask, everyone is honest and real.
When I started reading about and understanding polyamory, I flipped my lid.
THANK YOU, Thank You, Sweet Baby Jesus!! Mother Mary! And Mary Magdlyn too!!
I'm allowed to love more than one person at once! I'm NOT ALONE?!
I have only "come out" to those I am forming or already have relationships with. I haven't confessed my personal preference to family or friends who I think don't understand. That's still a little scary to me...
But I just have to say you are in the right place because (most
) of these people know what they are talking about, have been through it all, and will give you excellent guidance!
Keep reading as much as you can about polyamory and see how it makes you feel! Remember that it can be personalized to your preferences and there is no "right way" though they do have a sort of "code of ethics." Namely, don't hurt anyone.