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Old 11-11-2011, 10:23 PM
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Carma Carma is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 478

Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post

We tend to think that emotional intimacy is always good and always necessary. We feel that if people have a problem with emotional intimacy, they need to deal with it and fix it and learn to communicate better.

That's not always the case. Sometimes people need to go through something on their own, internally. I think that can even sometimes be healthier, more realistic, and better proof of psychological resilience and self-sufficiency.

This is a bit of a grim example, but I'm reminded of the Jewish tradition of being alone on your deathbed--the practice of turning your face to the wall in your final moment, to be alone with God. (I'm not Jewish, so forgive me if I totally got that wrong). That is meant to be a deeply religious moment, but as an atheist I always interpreted it as the need to be psychologically alone, to find peace with yourself.


Some poly people have more intimate (non-sexual) friendships than mono people do, simply because in traditional monogamy, you aren't really supposed to be deeply emotionally intimate with anyone besides your spouse. But that puts quite a burden on one person, doesn't it?
MR, some of the best food for thought I have ever read on this forum. W.O.W.

OhSnap, hope things are going ok for you today.
Formerly married to Sundance
Boyfriend -- Butch Cassidy
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