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Old 11-11-2011, 08:48 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
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Originally Posted by OhSnap View Post
I'm not really afraid. I just don't see how this will improve anything. If a start a romantic relationship with another woman and fall in love with her, I'll still be lacking in the intimacy department with my wife. That was the issue in the first place.
I'm a firm believer in the notion that polyamory is not a way to repair troubled relationships. You're nail-on-the-head with the idea that going outside the marriage will do nothing to improve circumstances between you and your wife.

I agree that it sounds as though her issues are more psychological than physical. Unless it causes her some kind of discomfort (i.e. some joint/muscle disorders can make cuddling painful, some nerve disorders can make gentle caresses feel like burns or scratches), there is no physical reason why you can't hold her, have her lay with her head in your lap or vice-versa, and even get naked and just feel each other's skin against the other (on her good side).

Someone else suggested tantra. I think it's worth looking into. You would probably want to find an experienced teacher, especially with her condition. Tantra is about moving energy through the body's channels, and I'm not familiar with how a stroke would affect those channels. I'm guessing quite substantially, though.

As for missing sex with your wife, unfortunately that may just be something you have to overcome emotionally. She may never be able to do that, but that doesn't mean you can't be physically intimate in other ways.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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