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Old 11-10-2011, 09:32 PM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 497

Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post
A good tact to take is that you have to look out for you first. Practice this now - tell your wife everything you feel if something is making you even the slightest bit twingy. Tell her without the expectation that she will try to fix it, or change her behavior. If you can tell her "I don't feel comfortable with you doing X" and give her the option to say "OK, that's no problem it's not important to do X" or "I want to anyway, let's talk about this" or to negotiate something in between that works for both of you, that's going to go a long way to lead towards a successful future where there's no niggling resentments or surprise blow ups down the line.

Good luck!
I find it can be good to sit down and discuss this strategy first, before anything comes up that you need to actually use it on. Many people when you say "It makes me feel sad when you do x" will ASSUME you mean "I don't want you to do X anymore", even if that's not your intention.

Making sure you're both on the same page with the process will make things easier when it comes down to actually using it.
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