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Old 11-03-2009, 07:08 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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okay, back to the real reason for this very long thread... if you don't mind Mono???!!! hhmmmm

Tonight I got a call from my mum inviting me out for tea. This is a big deal for me! If you followed this thread,
http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showt...ight=redpepper
you will know why.

I have been having tea with my Dad and he often has said that I should ask her. I have told him that I won't as I think she should ask me when she is ready and has gone through a bit more therapy.

I dropped my boy off for them to take him on a trip to "their" property, which used to be ours until we came out and they asked us to sign it over as it was my mum's inheritance that bought it. When I dropped him off I couldn't help get choked up as I said good-bye. I told her I was very pleased that they saw it in their hearts to not cut him off from the place as we thought they would do. Also I was sad because I am still grieving that we may never go there again.

My mum told me that of course we would go there again and that she in know way wanted to keep us from it. She just wants to have her own input with her mum's money and that she would leave half to me and half to my brother in her will... in the meantime we will be able to go there.

She also mentioned that her and my Dad have a lot to work out and that she is spending her time in therapy working on that as it will help her be happy. Her issues are more to do with her own unhappiness in life than with my life as poly.

She said that she only wants me to be happy, healthy and beautiful, which I am and that she does everything for me and my brother. I told her that that is all very well, but if I am not doing what she thinks is right then she gets disappointed and I feel guilty for not living up to her standard. She tried to tell me that this is my problem, but I still need to further explain that it isn't actually....

Baby steps in the right direction... I have a lot of boundaries to set with her and a lot of negotiating our relationship if it is to be healthy for me in the future. Wish me luck tomorrow night!
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