I did kinda make that sound like I didnt want to, but I do, one more with John and one with whomever (hopefully F) that becomes my other life partner. If that person wants one. I know F does, and any guy who would be with a woman with 3 kids would likely want his own too.
Im just not sure how me being pregnant with John's kid will affect F thats all. I've done it alone before, I can do it again. But Im sure having F there but unwilling to help will make me resentful even-though its not his kid. John wants one more, and I want to get pregnant with any kid Im going to have before Im 30. Im getting fixed at 30. With my medical problems, I dont think I could face the possible problems that increase at 30 and then again at 40. Plus I always wanted to be a young mom. I want to enjoy my empty nest years.
Not still have young kids in the house at 50. Just a personal preference.
Im on new ground, well for me.