Should I be considering this?
I don't know much about the poly community. I'm not really sure whether you folks can tell me whether I should be thinking about getting into it, but at least I can explain my problem.
I don't need to be with more than one person, but rather, less than one person. The psychological terminology for people like me is "schizoid". In my case, it means I'm missing some of the emotions that other people have. The effect, in my history of monogamous relationships, is that I haven't had enough emotional rapport with anyone to be everything they need. I just don't understand some ranges of emotion that are common to normal people.
I'd be quite comfortable being alone for the rest of my life if I didn't also feel the need to be part of a family. I can't raise a child, for example, but I'd like to know I helped raise one. I've never wanted or needed to have the emotional health of another person as dependent on me as is typical in monogamous relationships, and in fact, I find that sort of emotional dependence too great a responsibility for comfort. My fear that I will hurt their feelings because I don't understand them is too much of a risk. At the same time, I want to know that I do have some emotional significance to others.
So handicapped, I've considered that maybe I can have a suitably small place in the hearts of others and a suitably small place in some sort of family if I'm part of a larger family than those of the nuclear sort. Does this make sense or am I looking in the wrong direction?