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Old 11-10-2011, 05:03 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,677

I would be really careful where you are going with this. If you are okay with dating around for a while because you get poly as a lifestyle of honesty in your dating style rather than secretiveness then make sure she knows that. She sounds like someone that is dating a lot right now and may have other partners that are more secure and committed but is someone that will be like this for the long haul. Poly identity and lifestyle are two different things I think. Which are you, which is she and what do you know of yourselves in that? This is an important discussion I think.

DADT dating is not poly to me. Its just dating. Nothing wrong with that at all. Most of the world dates like that, but to me, it just isn't poly... you can decide for yourself what you think and so can she. Its just my opinion and I am expressing it in case its useful in clarifying where you are both at.

I agree that waiting until three dates has past is a good idea before negotiating agreements on who you will see, who you will sleep with, who you will meet and how much info to give. I think date two should be about you telling her who you are sleeping with and seeing. It sounds a little one sided at the moment. She has made herself vulnerable to you by telling you what her world is like. I think it is respectful to do the same. How much you say is up to your boundaries, but I would at least tell her how many people you are seeing and sleeping with. Especially if sex is a possibility.
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