Maybe I'm just in a weird mood today but this thread is fascinating.
I'd like to see how this plays out along the journey. Now who is the morbid one? And no, I am not predicting disaster or anything like that.
I think the honesty about how they got to where they are is very refreshing. There really are 'couples' who are that intertwined (that they pine away when one of them passes on). Coming to poly out of a conversation that started from concern for a partner in the event of the passing of the other is not something I'd ever heard of before.
As a relative newbie myself, I get where the 'oldies but goodies' are coming from about the unicorn.
I suspect that many of us ventured into poly with a unicorn in mind and eventually realized how we were blocking ourselves and our partners from being open to love however it comes along.
Being open to different possible configurations takes a lot of work, and perhaps, a level of commitment and communication that induces so much anxiety in some that they hold onto an ideal that seems safe. I'm by no means accusing any particular couple here of doing that, just wondering about the whole unicorn phenomena. Sure it 'seems' less fraught with complications but the realities I've seen and read about put that myth to rest.
Sorry to ramble in your thread... I really do hope ya'll will blog or some such about your journey and the transformations you experience.