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Old 11-09-2011, 08:33 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 6,358

Originally Posted by Times2 View Post

D has a very good friend in the male of our sm/bf couple. But he is devoted to his wife, not to me. We jokingly refer to him as my boyfriend and she as my husband's girlfriend but they are devoted to one another, we are wonderful, loving friends but are secondary to their family unit and their marriage.
See, I feel sort of sad that you 2 have a loving working quad situation but you'd toss it aside if and when you find your "third." Good friends, lovers and good (I assume) sex is hard to find in this life. Would it be so easy to let them go after all you've shared, if and when you find your unicorn?

For example, TL4everU2 here has a blog about his and his wife's long and frustrating search for another couple.

We want a third within the confines of OUR marriage, devoted to us and us to him or her.

I am truly surprised that a poly community seems to be a bit baffled by this or almost seems to be questioning my intent. If you aren't, then I apologize for the assumption.
I guess, so many here that were partnered and newly opened to poly, that looked for a unicorn at first, for whatever reason, have been burnt really badly by it. What usually happens is, once NRE fades the unicorn starts to prefer one or the other of the couple, and major jealousy and hurt feelings ensue.
I am here to make new friends and learn new things and see if my husband and I can make that ever elusive love connection with another. I appreciate all the input and if nothing else, my thoughts and intentions are really getting explained and put out there for the most upfront and honest way possible I guess. This can only be a good thing.
Good luck on your quest. There are as many ways to do poly as there are people practicing it.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62)
Pixie (poly, F, 40) together since 2009
My bf Kahlo (single, poly-friendly, M, 45) since August 2017
Seeing Rick and Glori (MF partnered, both 33 and poly) since September 2017
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixie's bf for 3+ years
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