Originally Posted by OhSnap
I just want to clarify...
I have no interest in sexual gratification. Most people don't believe me when I say this. It gets a bit depressing.
If anyone has anything else to add, that'd be great. Have a good day/night.
I found some fascinating insights when reading about Tantric Lovemaking. The focus is not on orgasms but on the full physical, emotional, and spiritual presence of one another in the bedroom. It's lovely.
I admire your honesty and your resistance to something you do not see as a solution to your problem. It's cool that your wife is open to seeking solutions, and she cares about your needs. I must say, I encouraged my husband to seek out another woman. He resisted, then he finally caved, and all hell broke loose. We are probably heading for divorce. Stick to your truth and keep being honest. You say you "feel stupid for not seeing how this will make [y]our situation any better." If you can't envision it, there is no reason to force it, nor to feel stupid that you can't see it. Maybe reading some other people's true life stories here will give you some insight. Poly can be a beautiful dream come true for some people. For others, it only makes a difficult situation WORSE. Only you and your wife (with maybe the right counselor) can figure out what will work best for you.
It's great that you came here to at least do the research! That shows an immense love and an open heart right there.