Dump the cry-baby, before you have the real baby.
Man-children suck. They suck the life right out of you, the libido right out of you, the joy right out of you.
This does not seem to be a case of him sorting through things, or having a bad time here and there, due to his health. From what you have stated, this is a gentleman who openly disrespects you in whatever environment he pleases, based on whatever mood he feels like being in.
You cannot make your own behaviour BETTER, to make-up for the lack in HIS.
So beyond that, the rest is moot.
P.S.- How does a man get his finger inside a woman, in a spilt-second moment, of her trying to hug him ? I have twirled that around in my egg-brain, but I cannot see that happening, unless he was extremely forceful, borderline rape. This is more then 'boorish' behaviour.
I`d of broke his finger, before he made it near my hip.....