Downside of Dating, Psycho-Hose-Beasts!
So, as if being a married poly trying to find a date online wasnít difficult enough, Iíve stumbled onto my first encounter with a Psycho Hose Beast...because the dating pool wasnít small enough, now I have to watch for crazies...
As it is, Iím still kinda resetting from the breakup with my gf...and mostly have been distracting myself with a bunch of other projects rather than the personal inventory etc. that I had been planning on. Getting sick for most of the last few weeks hasnít really had me motivated to go out and do a bunch of self-improvements...itís all I can do just to deal with day to day stuff. So I havenít been doing much with OKC, like even updating it for the new situation or anything.
And as usual, when Iím not looking is when someone will contact me, and out of the blue, I received a message from someone asking if I wanted to mess around...in a way that tried to play off my OKC username...it was short, but cute at least. Looking at her profile though, it was very clear this was a classic mono looking for a hubby and baby daddy...which is so not what Iím available for...and I ďthoughtĒ my profile would have been pretty clear about. So I quizzed her.
She confirmed what she was looking for, but had different intentions with me. Her notes were very short, and to the point, and quickly pushing towards ďcuddling and who knowsĒ and a quick meeting on Sunday (2 days after the first messageÖI donít think she figured out Iím not that easy). My impression was that maybe she was just looking for a quick roll in the hay to relieve frustration or something, but canít really tell from 4 word messages, so I was going to arrange a coffee meeting for Tuesday. Someone around here was suggesting I should look at rebounding, so it might have been an acceptable situation for both...if there was something there.
So Monday, while Iím recovering from lung infections, watching TV with my wife, surfing the net and listening to the kids crash around the house, I get a IM from the PHB on OKC. After a quick exchange of pleasantries and what weíre watching, I was going to see about making plans for coffee the next day, but I never got that far.
Apparently I wasnít typing fast enough...as she asked if I was a slow typist...which I certainly am not. I explained I was multitasking, juggling 4 conversations and 2 webpages. (In actuality, I had my wife beside me, I was half listening to the kids in the next room, texting a friend whoís phone was on the fritz, and IM on OKC, and thereís actually 4 webpages minimum on my browser anytime the computer is on)
She said she didnít like waiting, to which I responded that such was understandable, but it does happen. I could see the conversation was going to go down a rabbit hole soon, and mentioned to my wife that I was probably going to end up pissing off this person on IM.
Well, I called it, and it took a lot less time than I thought. She said something about me not cooperating, and when I asked what I wasnít cooperating about she told me to answer her quicker or fuck off.
No effort to see what my other conversations were about, or what she might have interrupted with an impromptu IM conversation. Just an ultimatum to pay attention or fuck off...
Wow...just wow. I wouldnít put up with that shit from the woman Iíve been married to for a dozen years and borne my children! WTF would make this PHB think Iíd put up with it from someone whoíd Iíve barely exchanged a dozen sentences with (yes, messages and IM combined!)
So I said fine, Iíll fuck off...3...2...1...0, fucking off...Have a good night.
I figured the count down should have given her time to figure out that she crossed a line and give an opportunity for her to salvage it. Nope. Inbetween the counts was swearing and name calling with a few unflattering comments about my figure. Classy. My wife was rather surprised by it all too.
I left a quick note congratulating her on being the first lady on OKC that Iíve had to block. And Iím very very glad that someone like that doesnít have any personal info. Very glad it came up before phone numbers and coffee.
So...repository for online or dating horror stories...like evil dead 2 comedic horror...not holocaust horror...those belong in their own places. Go.
Donít forget the Lube!