I'm so confused
My wife and I have been together for nearly 6 years. When we got together she was a virgin, but I had been with 3 partners before her. About a year ago, she had sex with my best friend while I was in the next room. I was supposed to just listen, but couldn't help myself and walked in on them and tried to join. She completely stopped what she was doing as I touched her and the sex stopped. I have never felt so hot in my life. To kind of "even" the score, she allowed me to have sex with her cousin that flew in from out of state a month later.
After me being with her cousin, I developed feelings towards her and told my wife. Once I revealed my feelings, she told me that she had secretly gone behind my back and that she had already had sex with my friend prior to that night. Shortly afterward we found out she was pregnant and thought that my friend was the father. Thank God that he wasn't, but this ruined our friendship because he told his family he was going to be a father and then it turned out he wasn't. And her cousin left to go back home 2000 miles away.
We took a break throughout the pregnancy and remained faithful to each other until just recently. Now our son is 3 months old. As soon as my wife was able to be on birth control again, she decided she wanted to open things up again. She started talking to another one of my friends and we all hung out together and everything was fine until recently. About a month ago, we were all partying together and drinking at home. I invited a female friend to come over. My wife's friend and her had passed out drunk leaving me and the female together. My wife walked in on me and her in the living room and sit there and watched. She was so turned on by this but didn't join or say a word.
Two nights ago, my wife decided it was her turn. Her friend came over and we watched scary movies for Halloween. When it got late, I allowed them to go to bed while I slept on the couch. She told me I could listen from the next room, so I did comply. Right after, I was overcome with jealousy and we argued the next day after he left. I told her I didn't want them seeing each other anymore, but later that day I found out her cousin is moving here within the next week and wants to see me again. My wife told me that she is OK with this as long as she can still see her friend, but she admitted she now has strong feelings for him, and he for her as well.
I am comfortable with the sexual part of the open marriage we have. I just don't know if I can handle her having feelings for another man. I don't know if I can handle having feelings for her cousin, which I do. I think I'm in love with her cousin, we have been talking on IM for the entire time my wife and her friend have been talking. How can I love 2 people and remain married?