I spent this weekend with Squeeze.
I am so very smitten.
I'm starting to feel so much more comfortable around him. I had a GREAT time! I caught a ride into his town with one of his close friends. Friend and I got on well, and the three of us went out for dinner, then played rock band into the night. Saturday Squeeze and I had brunch then went out around town, and ended the evening off cuddled up and sharing favourite TV with one another. We seem to have very compatible interests and great conversation. We snuggled up in the same bed, and enjoyed some kissing.
It seems that his relationship-creation path is somewhat different than mine. He doesn't give a lot of explicit signs or discuss his feelings. I am pretty open about liking him, and show physical affection easily and clearly. I find myself challenged to be secure and confident. I think I'm up to it, but it feels strange because my experience has been with men who are very up-front about wanting to be with me.
On the other hand, though he doesn't give me a lot of signs, those that he does give are positive. That helps with being confident.
I haven't seen Lover in about a week. Having this time to consider things without pressure convinces me more and more that I am changed by my experiences with polyamory. I truly enjoy my time with Lover, and his family. I donít want to give them up. Though I do admit that I would still be happy if I had less time with them. I notice that Lover remains steadfast in his statements around how he feels about me seeing someone else, and curious about Squeeze and happy for me. But his body language sometimes says ďI need you to still love me too.Ē GF seems a bit more possessive, but in a joking matter. Iím beginning to think that she gets a lot of support from me that I didnít realise.