Originally Posted by nycindie
Well, the other thing I was going to say is that you are so unhappy now. If you somehow are able to have more of a relationship with these guys, whether as a clandestine affair, or with your husband's knowledge, and he does leave you after the children are grown, would that really be worse than what you have now?
And really, I think if he did say you could go for it as long as he doesn't know, even if it was in a moment of anger, that was a compromise.
I think I am fast approaching that point where it's worth risking the marriage. First I want to try marriage counseling and hopefully a little more mutual effort into fixing what is lacking between us. There is another complicating factor, which is that I have been ill for over 6 months now, much of it in bed, which has simultaneously reduced the amount of energy either of has to put into our relationship, and increased my need for emotional support. (I used to get a lot of satisfaction from 2-3 nights a week of dancing, and now I'm pretty much dependent on people visiting as my sole social life.) I don't want to make any drastic changes while I am still sick.