View Single Post
  #30  
Old 11-07-2011, 09:05 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,541
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
sorry. I wrote too fast and didn't edit. I meant to say the self work that is required when addressing a partner who wants to try out a poly relationship dynamic. Of course mono people do self work and care about that for themselves. A lot of it over laps even, just that some care more (not exclusive to monogamy either) about their careers, their hobbies or their kids etc. than dealing with the self crap that comes up around poly relationships. Does that make more sense?

The kind of self work mono people do as a result of a poly partner is often not chosen work either I might add. At least not initially.
LOL self crap!

Okay, I gotcha. Because I know before last year when I chose to embrace poly, most of my "self crap" was centered on all the skills that polys need. Time management, intimacy, communication, sexuality, inhibitions, self-esteem, assertiveness, blablabla. There areas are crucial for a well-rounded human being, no matter what type of relationship they're in. But I was not an anomaly, everyone I knew (monos) struggled with most of the same issues that poly peeps struggle with and sought more self-awareness, in whatever form or path that took for their own way of living. Obviously, polys have unique situations that demand more juggling and ... diplomacy, in a way. But we're all the same bunch of fucked-up human beings trying to heal and find our way in the world.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
Reply With Quote