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Old 11-07-2011, 07:48 PM
JDStudent JDStudent is offline
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 11
Default Hello from New York

Hi all,

I am a very new to the idea of open relationships so I am here to soak up all of your wisdom and advice. The first time I ever used any kind of forum was about 3 years ago when I adopted my German Shepherd puppy and it was so helpful. I know that this is a sensitive topic that I will not be able to discuss outside of my conversations with my boyfriend so I am very much looking forward to entering your community.

A little about myself and my situation: I am a second year law student in New York. Right before entering law school, I met the most wonderful man and we hit if off instantly. We spend every second together before I started school and made the difficult decision to enter a long distance relationship. (Wow, all of that sounds horribly cheesy!) My boyfriend of about a year and a half lives 7 hours south. Not an impossible commute, but a difficult one.

He had originally tried living in New York with me but he hate it and moved back to where we both went to undergrad. Last year, he did the majority of the commuting. This year, given how difficult it is to find a (large!) dog friendly apartment for that German Shepherd I mentioned above, we have traded roles: he has the dog and I will do the commuting. It has certainly worked better but I feel horrible frustrated with the lack of physical contact and guilty for his lack of physical contact. We are both very sexual people and we enjoy being with each other generally once or twice a day when we are together but weeks without contact is difficult, even with phone and skype.

I never knew or even thought about open relationships until my boyfriend mentioned he began watching Sister Wives out of boredom one afternoon but found their lifestyle fascinating. I began watching it and was first briefly shocked and though "I could never!" but they were so functional. So... normal! Ironically, this perfectly aligned with my Family Law class's discussion on plural marriage and open relationships and I was further exposed to the idea through an assortment of articles from both ends of the spectrum.

After giving it quite some though and a bit of reading, I finally proposed to my boyfriend the idea of him being able to be with other women sexual. As a kind of "bandaid," as he put it. I want to allow for him to have sexual contact while I am away. He wants the same for me but has more difficultly with the idea of me being with another man and, to be honest, I am not interested. Any one night stand I have had has been horribly unfulfilling. Instead, he proposed that I indulge my curiosity and pursue women. We have been discussing it intensively since my original proposal (but I suppose details of that would be better suited in another section of the forum.)

So that is my background and who I am coming into this. I greatly look forward to all your community has to offer
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