Originally Posted by MorningTwilight
We've seen a counselor once, but she didn't want to go back.
This is disturbing. I have issues with people stop counseling after 6 visits when the marriage is struggling, as that's not enough time to even touch on all the issues, much less figure out how to fix anything. Did she not like the counselor or just not want to deal with anything?
If she will go back, get a commitment from her that you guys will go weekly for a couple months at least. I see the refusal to continue with counseling (especially after only one session) as a big red flag for your marriage in general. Part of this is coming from my own personal experience, every time I have seen a couple where one party refuses to go/continue with marriage counceling, the marriage has ended within a few years. However, the partner who fought so hard against therapy almost always says, if they had only gone earlier they might have been able to save the marriage, but now it's too late as the partner who wanted to go in the first place is no longer willing to fight for the marriage.