I had a very interesting discussion with JJ today. Our plans for the future are getting clearer. It looks like we are moving to the big city (which is in the same country as rory and Alec) in about 8-10 months. That seems to be the most rational decision considering JJ's work situation. We also talked about what happens if I love living there (which I'm quite sure I will because I did before) and he doesn't and wants to move back here. We came to the conclusion that there would be basically three choises: 1) one or the other lives in a place where they're miserable, 2) we break up or 3) we continue the relationship in an indefinite LDR version. We both agreed that the first option would be the worst and we don't want that, so that leaves us with the second and third one.
Indefinite LDR would sound unbearable if we were monogamous, but now it really is an option. We talked about it and we're quite sure we would at least try to live in a LDR, and JJ would be open (and maybe even trying) to having another partner close by. In that case the other partner would get a lot more time from JJ than she would in the current situation where we're living together. That would perhaps make finding the person a bit easier, since in practise he could offer almost as much as a regular single guy, except monogamy and marriage.
Although even then it wouldn't be easy in our little home town. So I guess it would all come down to whether he would find anyone willing to try polyamory or not. If not, I can't imagine him wanting to spend the rest of his life basically living alone and getting affection etc. only once a month or so. But we'll see. At least the continuation of our relationship is not as hopeless as it would be if we were mono. Then I think we would most likely break up in case we were living permanently in different countries.