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Old 11-03-2009, 03:39 AM
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ladyjools ladyjools is offline
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Does the feeling match the actuality? Is he providing you with attention? If yes, then it follows that he feels you are worthy.
yes he most def prodies me with more than enough attention.

Many of our "unconscious" thoughts are really conditioned thoughts.
the not worthy is a conditioned thought from spending many years from a very young age being told i was worthless. I prob spent first 17 years of my life being told this enough that i just grew up believing it
and logically i may reason with myself that i am as worthy as any other person, but i need to make myself actually believe that.
i am going to try what you suggest though

Unconscious just means you don't actively think them. They're automatic. One technique to "recondition" the unconscious mind is to actively pause your thinking and then reflect if the thought matches the actuality. Some people silently yell stop and then tell the thought to go away, because it is not the truth. Keep at it long enough, and some people find the thought doesn't come around any more.

as i really do genuinly want to get past this problem

There is a difference between fairness and equality. They are not always the same.

Feelings, wants & desires are neither right or wrong. They just are. If you and he are able to come to an agreement within your relationship, then it is fair regardless of what that agreement is.[/QUOTE]


i want very much to be ok with him having other relationships, because i genuinly believe that love has nothing to do with posession.. I just need to work through my feelings so that it doesn't hurt me to think of it,

it is kind of odd that i want so badly to feel ok with something
and still i am not able to make myself ok with it
very very frustrating... logical brain in conflict with my feelings.

Part of me thinks that I should just allow things to happen if they do and then deal with whatever feelings that brings up in me and if it is something i truely can't handle then I always have the option to leave. I am in this relationship through choice nobody is keeping me in it and if it turns out that i start to just feel terrible then i am no longer enjoying the relationship and therefor probably should move on,

but obviously i really don't want to end it especially since nothing has happened to hurt me at all so far and this is all hypothetical.

Perhaps i think far to much!

Jools
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