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Old 11-03-2009, 03:02 AM
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BigGuy BigGuy is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: East Central Illinois
Posts: 118

Originally Posted by ladyjools View Post
He has agreed that introducing new people would be bad for us just now. Specifying an end date seems difficult because im not sure how long it will take for our relationship to establish to a level that we both feel secure enough,
Relationships are about communication, negotiation, give and take. If he's agreeable, set an end date for 6 months from now. When that time is up, if you don't feel comfortable, then renegotiate for another 6 months, or some other time period you both can agree on. You're not forcing him to do anything. He is his own person and an equal partner in this relationship. If he makes the choice to not enter any new relationships, then that is *his* choice.

Originally Posted by ladyjools View Post
i dont' feel like im worthy of his attention...
Does the feeling match the actuality? Is he providing you with attention? If yes, then it follows that he feels you are worthy.

Many of our "unconscious" thoughts are really conditioned thoughts. Unconscious just means you don't actively think them. They're automatic. One technique to "recondition" the unconscious mind is to actively pause your thinking and then reflect if the thought matches the actuality. Some people silently yell stop and then tell the thought to go away, because it is not the truth. Keep at it long enough, and some people find the thought doesn't come around any more.

Originally Posted by ladyjools View Post
I want all my partners to have the freedom that i do.
There is a difference between fairness and equality. They are not always the same.

Feelings, wants & desires are neither right or wrong. They just are. If you and he are able to come to an agreement within your relationship, then it is fair regardless of what that agreement is.
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