Originally Posted by UnwittinglyPoly
Aside from what everyone else has noted, I think a part of it may also be the fact that, when things are boiled down to the least common denominator, monogamy in general--not always, but I can argue for the vast majority of cases--is rooted in fear, jealousy, insecurity and other unhealthy aspects of the human psyche. Naturally, when someone overcomes these types of unhealthy things, those who refuse to release the death grip they have on such things do in fact seem to be inferior or less evolved in some way, the same way people who accept others regardless of race feel about those who hold tightly to racism out of fear, ignorance, etc. Rightly so? Possibly. But that doesn't justify in-your-face behavior. Just food for thought.
That's where personal bias gets in the way IMO. I'll explain...
If I talk to mono couples about certain unhealthy non-mono couples, many of them will focus on the usual clichés (poor impulse-control, extreme need for external validation and lack of independence etc.). Non-monogamy's fault. And if non-monogamy works...well, you just got lucky.
Likewise, when I talk to non-mono couples about certain unhealthy mono couples I know, they will than utilise their own clichés (fear, jealousy, insecurity, control freak personality etc.). Monogamy's fault. And if monogamy works...well, you just got lucky.
It's easy to use these scapegoats, and healthy relationships tend to get ignored. But when it comes down to it, unhealthy relationships are unhealthy relationships, and many of them should never have existed in the first place (Captain Hindsight). Unhealthy people are unhealthy people and naturally have unhealthy relationships. And IMO, it's less about monogamy vs non-monogamy (which is the most prevalent and overly-simplistic attitude that I've encountered, unfortunately), and more about the dichotomy of healthy and unhealthy mindsets, and how these mindsets relate to relationships in general.
I suppose I just think that people tend to gravitate towards unrealistic conclusions when it comes to issues such as this. People and relationships are rarely so black and white. I'd actually be a good example of this: I have never been afraid that my wife would leave me, I've never been jealous and I've never really been insecure about myself. So I must be an emotionally mature person right? Nope; I pretty have much no ego, and a non-existent competitive drive. That's what makes poly so easy for me.
OldGuy raised an excellent point. I'm black and it baffles me when other black people marginalize gays. Were we not fighting the same fight roughly 40-50 years ago? My marriage would have been illegal less than a half a century ago. How can I NOT identify with their struggle?
People just don't care. Most people anyway. Apathy.