When to declare your "poly" status or any other personal info always seems like a play it by ear sort of thing for me. I usually tell people I'm poly pretty quick, and a lot of times it's not even because I'm interested in the person (romantically) I'm having the convo with. It's because it's an interesting subject and I'm all about informing more and more people so they don't get the wrong idea about me or about polyamory as I see it.
I lived in a small town where I was the only "poly" person most people knew. I'm now in a (more liberal) town where I have heard of maybe another dozen or so. I see being poly now as similar to being gay maybe 30 years ago. Not so much with the violence and hate crimes, but with the misunderstanding, misinformation and prejudices.
Roly, you do as you like, I understand the pressures of a small town. I myself am somewhat reserved in "outing" myself in the firehouse venue though I'm not completely close lipped. I believe in showing people that the traditional way is not the only way, through the forthrighteousness of my own actions. If no one knows who the poly people are, how do they know how a poly person is?
Often he had been often bound with fetters and chains, and the chains had been rent asunder by him, and the fetters broken in pieces: neither could any man tame him...and he asked him, What is thy name? And he answered, saying, My name is Legion: for we are many.