If you don't want the friend, you don't want the friend. There's really nothing more that can be said.
It sounds like you do want to reconnect with your wife, and that she's feeling like she isn't able to do that right now, or is afraid you'll want more than she can give. Maybe the two of you could talk about the kind of physical/emotional intimacy you're looking for and try a few things out. Start slow! Perhaps you can snuggle on the couch while watching a movie.